Are you getting ghosted on dating apps? Aren’t sure which places are socially acceptable to engage strangers in conversation? Having trouble approaching a woman who has both a fireball and a flash kick?

Fortunately, Sega provided a master class in dating advice back in 2003 when they released the arcade game Outrun 2. While time has moved on, some truths persevere forever.

Here’s some key advice on how to impress a potential partner.

1. Drift Through Blue

We’ve all been there; the afternoon Sunday drive to the local burger joint is an absolute yawnfest. Well, get your grip on that e-brake, because nothing spices up the drive like Drifting Through Blue.

Now remember — it has to be through the blue. She’s not gonna be impressed if you just drift anywhere. Sidewalk? No. Anywhere else on the street? Absolutely not. And through red? What’s wrong with you? You’re not some godless heathen in a Corolla. Red is for the non-drifters.

Now there’s another question worth addressing here, one I get asked all the time. “Should I avoid the other cars while drifting?” While your date doesn’t seem to mind a few collisions, they will slow down your drift. This lowers the bottom line on how many hearts you can acquire from the task, which in turn will make her love you less.

And we don’t want that.

2. Don’t Hit Anything

Now I know what you’re thinking: “Didn’t she just tell me to drift into traffic? She didn’t mind collisions then! What gives?” Well hey, people change. I bet you change your mind sometimes, too. In your girlfriend’s case, she’ll be changing her mind every quarter-mile stretch of road and evaluating your performance on three tasks per region. These are the challenges we must rise to meet in the dating world.

When she says anything, remember, she means anything. No cars, no trees, no guard rails. There’s a huge upside here though; she will instantly love you the maximum amount just from assigning the task. This affection will plummet of course as soon as you make contact with the smallest pebble, but for at least one microsecond, you’ll get to experience the euphoria that comes with someone finally giving a shit about you.

Hold on to it. It’s fleeting.

3. Hit The Ghosts

Listen, I don’t know what these ghosts are doin’ on the road. Maybe they’re the spirits of everyone who died on the hiking trails in Redwood National Park, or maybe they’re the last vestiges of previous boyfriends who didn’t measure up. Best not to think too hard about it, or why your new girlfriend wants you to run them over so bad. I mean, she really wants you to hit those ghosts. Almost like she’s hiding something.

No, no. Forget it. Just another intrusive thought. I mean, she already told you why the shovel’s in the trunk, remember? She helps her grandma garden on the weekends.

4. Dodge The Asteroids

Okay, I admit, this is a big ask. No one ever said dating was easy, but I guess it was even harder in 2006. Normally our atmosphere stops this sort of thing, but yeesh, global warming, am I right?

Now there’s some good news here. While asteroids this size would normally cause a crater the size of Rhode Island, these ones mostly do potholes. That’s nothin’ to us at this point. We’ve already confronted ghosts, and the notion ghosts are real. When we shuffle off this mortal coil, we too might be trapped in the Redwoods for all eternity, condemned to get hit by some other guy driving a Testarossa to impress his Clarissa. Maybe that guy is us. Maybe this is just some endless time loop, stuck in a Morbius Strip of our own lives, committing spectral-manslaughter on ourselves until the heat death of the universe.

What was I saying? Right. Watch the skies, these rocks fall slow. Almost as slow as our own march towards the infinite void.

5. If You Can’t Meet Her Expectations, Find Someone With Lower Standards

If you’ve mastered all the above challenges, excellent work! Your girlfriend should now be lavishing you with praise for a masterful job juggling beach balls, slaying ghosts, and juking the occasional UFO.

There’s a more likely scenario, however, where you didn’t even finish the race and she hates your guts. She may have even strangled you in a fit of frustration while you stalled out in the meridian. A common response when you don't measure up and collect enough hearts. But so what? Don’t be discouraged!

The trick here is to find another girl with lower standards. There’s two other girlfriends waiting to be wowed by your driving skills, who are completely unaware of your inability to perform on the road. And, when all else fails, remember to always go left at every offramp. It’s the easier path, and as long as you never tell her that, she’s bound to be impressed.

I hope this guide helps. Now, I really ought to mention it seems like all these girls are sticklers for Ferraris, so before you tackle anything in this guide, you’ll need to get one of those.

You got this, buddy.

Outrun 2 isn’t available for sale anywhere, because Sega lost the Ferrari liscense and yanked it from every storefront. Fortunately, all the necessary wisdom is compiled here.